Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
