I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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