You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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