3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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