puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No subtext here. People are naked.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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