Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
