saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
