I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
