i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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