Walk of Shame. In a state park.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
