whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
