Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
