you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
