someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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