i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
