Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
