2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
