Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So many bounce houses so little time
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
