Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
