How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
