My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you didnt know i had herpes?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
