we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
