so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
