Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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