he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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