There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
