Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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