i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
