She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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