you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
