So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
