let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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