Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
