do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
