Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
