Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
