But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
