I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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