i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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