i think my tv is drunk
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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