I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
