You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
