i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
