The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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