Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
