Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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