Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
