I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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