i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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