Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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