It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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