Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So vagazzling was a success
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
