i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
