i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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